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Friday, October 12th, 2007

Time:12:45 am.
I haven't been here in a while.

Everything's been...well...okay.

I'm just insanely busy now. I don't really have anything to say anymore. That kinda scares me, but the words just don't come anymore.

I think maybe I need a break from academics and work...but I doubt that'll happen anytime soon.

We'll see.
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Friday, August 10th, 2007

Time:1:41 am.
I don't know how to help you any more.

I've been supportive. I've been pushy.
I've done what I could.

It's going to come down to you wanting it. I can't bail you out.
I can't push you to do what you don't want to.

I can't push you to be the person I met four years.
I can't push you to be the friend I remember.

I miss you.

I can't do anything about it.

I'll always be there for you.
But I can't help you any more if you're not willing to help yourself.

Work with me.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, July 24th, 2007

Subject:Stuck in the middle...
Time:12:21 pm.
Go figure.

[x] You've never done drugs.
[x] You have a lot of friends.
[ ] You get along with everyone.
[ ] You love soccer.
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You're into writing and art.
[x] Favorite music genre is rock.
[x] You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[X] One of your favorite colors is red or gold.
[x] Good grades at school.
[ ] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college.
[x] You stick up for friends
[ ] You always try to put others before yourself.


[ ] You're content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[X] You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[ ] Politics suck.
[x] You love to swim.
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favorite colors.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[ ] Michael Jackson is talented as a musical artist.
[X] You're an optimist.
[x] You're very emotional.
[ ] You believe in going steady at a young age.
[ ] You haven't made fun of anyone this month.
[x] Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.


[ ] You're depressed to a certain extent.
[X] You love to read.
[X] You actually enjoy studying.
[x] Education comes first.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[ ] Sports suck.
[x] Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ] Indie is your favorite genre of music.
[X] Every once in a while you have little anger outbursts.
[ ] Lying is only sometimes okay.
[ ] Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[x] Knowledge is the key to power.
[x] Sarcasm is the best kind of humor.
[x] People should know what they're talking about before they talk.


[X] There's at least one person you hate/dislike.
[ ] Basketball is a good sport.
[ ] Football is amazing.
[ ] Black is a cool color.
[x] You've lied about something serious.
[x] You're a very deep person.
[x] You have considered suicide.
[ ] You are not very loyal.
[ ] You like heavy metal.
[ ] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You're scared to grow up.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

Subject:What thinks thee?
Time:10:54 pm.
The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Steady, reliable, and cradling him tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The men left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal man is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact male opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.

ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah (DBLM)

CONSIDER: The Gentleman (DGLM) or The Slow Dancer (DGLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

Ps, Cathy, looks like you and I are one and the same? Heh.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

Subject:A commuter in the station
Time:1:13 pm.
It's been a while, but I thought I would update with a rough draft of something that happened to me today.

I’ve always loved train stations.

They’re strange places, and places like that are harder and harder to find now that we’re so paranoid about security.

Train stations seem much more laid back than the airports I’ve been to. Airports imply long tips, hectic security, lots of screaming kids and fighting families. People still move quickly, there are still family squabbles, and lots of stress, but not like sitting in the airport waiting for a crammed plane.

I love watching the people in Union Station. My train comes in around 8:00 AM each morning, but I don’t have to be at work until 9:30. Usually I grab a muffin, a paper, and a seat in one of the waiting areas.

I like the chance to watch people. You can learn a lot about a person from the way they act in a train station, from the way they walk, what they wear, and what they have with them.

There are so many people in there in the morning. Some are coming to Washington for the first time, looking at the grand hall of the station in wonder and awe at the Capitol City. This is the place that they’ve heard of for so long in the news. This is where things happen. When they go home tonight and hear that “The Senate voted today in Washington on the immigration bill,” they can say to themselves “Wow, I was there.”

Some are commuters. They charge through the station, looking forward, staring ahead at their day at a desk, in an air-conditioned office somewhere. They walk as a mass, walking blindly from their trains to the station like Lemmings over the cliff. Some nervously button their suit jackets or hold their purses tightly to them as they ignore the sights around them- they’ve seen them so often. Some of them queue up at Starbucks or Au Bon Pain for a coffee and maybe a Danish. Most just leave, and go about their day, bidding farewell to the station until 5, when the mad-rush starts for the elusive seat on the express train.

Some are Tourists, writ large. Those tend to be the most annoying when you’re in a hurry. Some of them are the first-comers, but they’re a sub-class all of their own. These are the people who wear matching t-shirts so they don’t get lost in the Smithsonian. These are the people who walk veeeerrrrrryyyyyy sloooooooowwwwllllyyyyy through the station in as wide a path as they possibly can. They’re the ones that stop right in front of you, pull out a map, and seem rather confused when the 150,000,000,000 commuters trying to walk through that very point get a little angry.

Some are mysteries.

Take today for example. I sat down near gate E, pulled out my paper and my chocolate muffin, and started my morning routine. It’s peaceful, and it gives me a little bit of time to myself. Besides, who doesn’t like a chocolate muffin?

A few minutes later, I turned my head, and there was a man about my age staring at me. We made eye contact, and then he looked away. I watched him for a moment, and gave him a once over.

There was something attractive about him. He was about 18-20 or so- looked to be in the early years of college. His facial features were smooth, without any sharp lines or the like. He had a small smile on his face as he looked off in a different direction. His hair was dirty blonde and had obviously been swept was wearing a loose t-shirt that still highlighted the fact that he was lightly muscled. Basically, Jeremy like.

I was sitting there for about 30-40 minutes, and I made eye contact with this guy a good four or five times. Each time we both looked away after a few seconds. I noticed a few things about him from the way he carried himself.

I think he knew he was attractive, but he didn’t seem overly comfortable with it. He was wearing slightly too-baggy clothing, and he wasn’t sitting and looking around like he was God’s gift to women or, as I think, to men.

Outside of the station, I saw a man who did think he was God’s gift to everyone. I’ll give him that – he was very attractive. It annoyed me, however, that he was strutting around, pulling up his arms so his shirt tightened across his chest. It screamed vanity and stupidity to me. Physically attractive is nice, but it’s not everything.

Back in the station, I had looked up and over my shoulder again. Instead of finding a cute guy with a mysterious smile, there was an old woman clutching her ticket as tightly as she could.

He had gone. He went from being a nice diversion from my morning commute back to being one of the many people in a teeming world. I went back to my paper, oddly disappointed.

I got up a few minutes later, threw away my trash, and started to wander around the station. I guess I was hoping to see him again, but I doubt I would have done anything. I probably would have smiled awkwardly, and looked down a few seconds later. I wouldn’t have said hi, or “accidentally” bumped into him. I would have smiled at him, walked past, and then smirked to myself later on.

Perhaps, if I had been more brave, I would have gotten up and thrown my trash away earlier. The station wasn’t full enough to be able to pull off an “is this seat taken?” line, but I could have tried it. I could have just said “morning” walking past him. I could have done something.

But I didn’t. I let him pass silently out of my life without even getting to say hello. Not to mention getting his name, and no where near getting his number.

If this were a movie, I’m sure he would have bumped into me later, and spilled a coke on my suit. If this were a movie, I would have laughed, struck up a conversation, and gotten his phone number. If this were a movie, I would have a nice evening tonight.

Life isn’t a movie.

Somehow I need to learn how to act a little more bravely. I need to not look away. I need to smile and realize that I don’t have to be afraid. I can’t just keep waiting for someone to walk up to me and hit me in the face. I have to walk up to them.

I need to take control of my own life, of my actions, and my desires. I need to learn to get in the way, to stare at the architecture, and get in the way of the people I want to talk to. I think I’d like life more as a tourist.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

Subject:Today sucked.
Time:12:13 am.
I can't care any more.

As for this Live Journal, here's what I have to say:
RD /s.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, April 2nd, 2007

Subject:Signs that it's spring...
Time:9:18 pm.
Mood: horny.
I'd jump that in a second.
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Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

Time:2:28 pm.
Mood: angry.
Mother fucking hell.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006

Time:2:48 pm.
Mood: complacent.
Well, I guess you can call this an update.

I've been pretty busy, and since I talk to everyone who reads this thing, it's easier just to drop me an IM/e-mail/talk to me if you wanna know what's up.

It's not like there's nothing going on, I just don't have time to write about it.

I've always been bad about keeping these things, anyway.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, August 5th, 2006

Subject:Meme for a twin
Time:3:11 pm.
Mood: bouncy.
. Age:
2. Single or Taken:
3. Favorite Movie:
4. Favorite Song:
5. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist:
6. Dirty or Clean:
7. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of LiveJournal?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if I asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 4th, 2006

Time:11:11 pm.
Done at the Road House.

/cheer !
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?
Time:4:27 am.
Mood: Blargh?.
Anybody care to help me find...something...again?

I dunno what I'm looking for.

I think this job has taken the "my" out of Jeremy's personality.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 21st, 2006

Subject:Friday Night Meme
Time:11:34 pm.
Mood: calm.
(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses. × I love to play video games(Sometimes.) × I've tried marijuana(Nope.)
I've watched porn movies.  (::shrug:: See last year's roommate....) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (Have to have that relationship first....) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.  (Usually.)
I curse sometimes.  (Often.) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.  (Nope.)
it goes on...Collapse )
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Monday, June 26th, 2006

Time:1:06 am.
Mood: Tobias.
This journal's mostly gone dormant since the beginning of the summer.

Work and summer school are taking most of my time, and I can't really find the time or energy to come up with something original, etc. or even to just talk about my day.

Sorry about that, kids, but that's the way it is right now.

Hopefully I'll get back to it once school's done.

Till then,

Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, May 12th, 2006

Subject:Grandfather's Funeral
Time:3:16 pm.
Mood: drained.
Note: Many of you know the background of the family stuff involved in this man, and the rest of you can ask if you so desire. It's not something to be explained on the nets.

I was fine through the service. Sure, it was sad, but I wasn't broken up by it, or anything. My grandfather and I were never that close, and the history of what's happened made me not feel that much for him.

My mother's voice, however, broke my heart. She has a beautiful singing voice, but rarely do I get the chance to hear it. Hearing so much sadness and grief in it, and yet having it be so pure and clear was one of the hardest things I think I've ever had to hear.

Knowing that there was nothing I could do to take away that pain, nothing I could do to make it all better again, was one of the worst feelings I've had.

So much beauty in so much pain and nothing to do but exist.

I can hardly see the screen right now...
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Subject:Toki wo koetai
Time:2:44 am.
Mood: sleepy.
I want to transcend time.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006

Subject:Burning time before teh exam...
Time:8:37 am.
Mood: relaxed.
Last day of school...here goes....

Back in the Dena tonight. See you on the flip side.

Love to all. Be safe, ya hear?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, May 8th, 2006

Time:1:08 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Gonna go escape into some other people for a while...write a story, maybe. I'm kinda feeling in the Mac mood at the moment. I might talk to Stonewall for a bit.

Just gotta get away from myself. Helps me relax and get rid of emotions I normally can't without getting arrested or having to pay damage billing.

It's time for some serious thinking about myself, the people I care about, and what's important to me.

Perspective is a bitch.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, May 7th, 2006

Time:10:22 pm.
Grandfather died this afternoon.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006

Time:3:09 pm.
Mood: working.
The dual-screened pro lab Macs rock my world!
Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for Oftenhyper Chattything.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.